


Jack Daniels If You Please

by ObeyDontStray, steffers86



Category: Stranger Things - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Best Friends, Bromance, Drinking, Drunken Shenanigans, Multi, Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 05:33:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10507308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObeyDontStray/pseuds/ObeyDontStray, https://archiveofourown.org/users/steffers86/pseuds/steffers86
Summary: Jim and Benny's drunken misadventures. Ongoing roleplay.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Steffers's (Hopper's) responses are marked with a *
> 
> I'm Benny, whose sentences are unmarked.

*"I do NOT need a wingman," I argued. I sluggishly leaned up against the wall drawing a cigarette from behind my ear. 

"You do!" I protest. "You've always needed one. You're not as smooth as you think you are, Hop."

*"Pfft...," I smirked taking the last shot of whisky sitting in front of me. "Watch this." I remarked strolling up to some random blonde at the bar we were seated at.

"Hop that's Jesse's girl-" the warning dies on my lips. Hell, you wanna be a show off, go ahead. You don't need a wing man.

*I walked up to the blonde girl...drunk and just as clueless. I ended up getting a drink thrown on me in .5 seconds. I stumbled back over defeated. "I need...another drink..."

I had one waiting on you already. "Told you. Not as smooth as you think you are. You're an idiot, Jim Hopper."

*"I'm smooth. I'm just having an off night," I smirked with squinty eyes. "Cheers, Benny!" I raised my drink.

I raise my drink to you and clink them together. "To your self smugness." I joke. "May you never grow out of it."

*"It's too late to teach this old dog new tricks," I grinned. I could feel the burn of the whisky down my throat. "Play something on the jukebox besides this country music!"

I know you too well. I know what'll happen if I play some AC/DC or some Zeppelin. I opt for some Creedence Clearwater Revival. You like them too, but it might not lead to a bar fight. I'm not drunk enough yet for a bar fight.

*"YAAAAH!" I, wobbly, stood up from the bar stool. I was two sheets to the wind. How you still dealt with my drunken shenanigans was beyond me. No matter how many fist fights we still did this. It was stuff we could laugh about years from now.

I pump a few more quarters into the jukebox. 'Bad Reputation' should be your theme song. How I don't have a bad rap too from hanging out with you is beyond me.

*I grinned from ear to ear with my cigarette hanging from my mouth. I used an empty beer bottle for an ashtray. "Ok wing man? What do you suggest?" I smirked.

"See that redhead at the end of the bar? Betcha ten bucks I can get her number. With no help from you."

*I waved my hand shooing you. "While you're at it see if she has a sister." I let out a hearty laugh. "Put your money where your mouth is Benji." I knew you hated it when I called you that. I took a swig of what was left at the bottle of the Schlitz bottle winking.

"Maybe her Mom's available, you old fart." You're a few months older than me and I'm never going to let you forget it. I make my way over the the red head

*"Or maybe she ends up being a guy," I mumbled with a chuckle. I stumbled forward. If things end up going well I'd work my way in somehow playing it cool.

Her name is Marlene, and she's awfully pretty. She smiles often at me and I feel like this may be a home run. She bats her eyelashes at me. Yeah, maybe this one's a winner.

*I clammered around the crowd in the bar to where you were with Marlene. "Hey, there yoooouuu arrree." I was slurring my words. There was no way you were getting my ten bucks. "I can't let him out of my sight. He might hurt himself," I joked throwing a chummy arm around ya. Marlene didn't seem to change her interest.

"Excuse my drunk friend. I can't take him anywhere." I say, looping my arm around your back and punching you in the spine where she couldn't see. "I'm his designated driver." I hope she admired my responsibility for your drunken ass.

*I scrunched my face up in response to your tough love. "So you want to blow this place. Party at my house? You got any friends." I kept going and going. Parties at my trailer wasn't bad. If we were able to get enough people, bonfire, and booze it would be worth it. A lot of mischievous adventures occurred in the past. I put the chief in mischief.

Of course you'd suggest a party. Her face lit up. "I've got a few friends I can call!" You've got all her attention, now. You're better looking than me and I secretely hate you for it. I'm mentally listing off reasons why I hate you, and why after all these years you're still my best friend.

*"Ah...well do you hear that," I smiled switching glances between the two of you and then stopping at you. "She has some friends she can caaaall." A wicked little grin formed my face.

God your such a smug shit. But who am I to turn down a good party? You are good at hosting them, even if you are shit faced.

*"So...we're going on a beer run. I'll buy the supplies. You won't regret this like the last idea I had!" I whispered against your ear.

Yeah. Last time. When i ended up getting punched in the face by some girl's boyfriend just because I was being a little to nice to her. "You better pay, this is all your idea. Tell the lady where to find us." I tell you.

*"Pfft I'm good to my word Benji," I scoffed, "Who do you think I am." I scribbled down my address on a bar napkin with my yellow pen and pushed it towards her. "Alright, now," I say slapping my hands on both of your shoulders, "Let's do this."

You stumble your way to my truck. Good thing I haven't been drinking much. You certainly aren't fit for driving. At all. "You know you're buying me a bottle of Jack, right?"

*"I'll buy you a bottle of....Lonnie," my tone quickly changed. I spotted Lonnie across the parking lot kissing up on a blonde. Last time I checked his ole lady was not blonde. Infidelity irked me because my wife did the same to me because she was too afraid to just leave me.

"Jim, don't. It's not your business. It's dirty, but he's not exactly breaking any laws." I'm trying to drag you to the truck, to keep you out of trouble.

*I had a short fuse sober or drunk. I didn't like to see anyone get hurt unless they did something stupid and I was the one doing the punching. "Can I put a new law into effect tonight?" I said grumpily, allowing you escort me to the truck.

"No, you can't. Beating him up won't solve anything. Joyce knows he's a dog. For some reason, she won't let him go. It's their business."

*I stared in the side view mirror at the disgusting display. I searched through my shirt pocket for pills...anything to burn that memory from my head. "Benny, friends help friends bury bodies." I joked.

"Either you really hate Lonnie Byers, or you're still carrying the torch for Joyce. Maybe both." I said, cranking the truck and pulling us out onto the open road.

*"WHAT? No...no...Joyce? That was...that was a long time ago...I don't make the same mistake twice." I argued.

"You would, and you damn well know it. It's Joyce. I would." I thought of the little firecracker and those big brown eyes of hers. "I certainly would."

*"Don't talk about her like that," I murmured like a grumpy little defeated kid. She was my first love who took my virginity. Why my stubborn self couldn't get over her was beyond me. She was the one that got away that's for sure.

Ah, I hit a nerve. Joyce has always been a sore spot for you. "Maybe I should spend a little more time with Joycie. If she knew what a good man was like, she'd leave that dirtbag. I might not be as good looking as Lonnie, but I could certainly treat her better." I stop in front of the liquor store and kill the engine, stepping from the truck.

*"Wouldn't make a difference. I treated her well. She left me for Lonnie. Let those actions speak for themselves," I grumbled. "I'm getting you nothing but peach wine coolers if you don't stop talking about her." I joked.

"Alright, alright. I'm just saying, she ain't spent much time with me. You might be the 'cute one' but I'm the good guy."

*"Yeah, you're the goody two shoes of the bunch," I joked. "Who the hell said I was cute? Where the hell is she?" I cracked up.

"You idiot, you know girls always picked you over me in high school because you're the cute one. I've heard enough about your 'pretty blue eyes' to last me a life time." I say as I peruse the shelves, grabbing the biggest bottle of Jack on the shelf.

*I jogged ahead of you, flipping around to face you, "Tell me more about how you love my baby blues, Benji," I teased moving close enough to your face that you could get a hint of the pungent smell of beer rolling off my breath.

"Fuck out my face, Jimmy." I said, rolling my eyes. "Don't go getting all gay on me just because you're drunk. Get your alcohol and let's get back to the house." I said, grabbing a case of Schlitz. "I haven't drank enough to deal with your drunk ass."

*"And...we are going to fix that," I smirked waving the bottle of Jack Daniels. "I hope my house isn't getting robbed right now. I'd have to call the police..." I speculated. It was drunken random chitter chatter. Every random thought I had while drunk always managed to escape my mouth. "Oooh wait. I am the police. Hahaha."

"Yeah. The town should feel so safe with you as Chief. Now pay the man and let's go." I urged. "I'm hoping we drive home to a harem of women. Maybe one of them will find you obnoxious and show some interest in me."

*"I will tone it down...for you Benji," I popped off. "Level the playing field a bit. Haha!" I piled in the truck and the turned up the radio drumming my hands on the dashboard. I nudged you. "Cooome on Benny. It's our song."

I roll me eyes at you. You're such a handful when you're like this. I drum my fingers on the steering wheel anyway. "Off to your house."

*It was a nice night. The weather was cold but a bonfire would make this nice. Maybe even nicer if we could get lucky. "This is gonna be awesome. When was the last time we had a get together?"

"It's been a while, Hop." I replied. "I'll start the fire. So your drunk ass don't fall in." And of course, you start welcoming the girls that are showing up.

*I came rushing back over to where you were at. "Uhhh you won't believe who is here right now!" I poked you trying to get your attention while you were gathering up stacks of wood. "Chrissy Carpenter's sister," I laughed. "Hey, here," I handed you a beer. "Drink up." As I snatched the wood from your hand trying to show up.

"Chasity? Oh man. You had Chrissy so long, you looking for doubles?" I tease. "You're sleeping your way through town anyway."

*"Hey! Hey now! Someone has to conquer Hawkins," I playfully flexed my arms. "They can't resist me. What can I say?" I lite a cigarette. Your friend Marlene came waltzing up to us.

"You're a shit, Jim Hopper." I said, taking a swig of my beer. "Save me a side piece, will ya?" I wave Marlene over shyly.

*"Ahhhh haha," I nudged you, "Why do I need to save you a side piece...looks like you got something there." I got out of my drunken slouchiness once Marlene got over to us. "So how's the fire coming along?" She directed her voice towards you.

"Going good. I'll have us a rolling fire in no time." I said smugly, grabbing the wood from your hands. "I'm glad you had plenty of friends to call." I smile at her.

*"Yeah," I laughed at your comment at plenty of friends. Marlene leaned in to whisper into your ear, "Is he gonna be alright?"

"Yeah, this is his normal level of shitfaced." I laugh. "Don't pay him any attention." I assure her. "How about I get you a beer?"

*"I...am going to leave you two alone...I'll be right back," I mentioned with a shit eating grin on my face. My plan was to work my way in with someone tonight.

"Good riddance." I call over my shoulder in jest. "He's a handful." I smile at her as the kindling catches and the fire starts. "Ah ha, let there be light. So how about that beer?" I ask her.

*Marlene agrees to your offer. She shouted over to her friends to come join. Surprisingly, I was not clung to the group of ladies that you were now surrounded by.

I bent down at the washtub we had full of beer and ice, handing out beers to the girls around me. I'm so lost at how to break the ice with any of these girls. "Hey, you drink whiskey?" I ask Marlene, offering to fix her a Jack and coke like mine.

*"Haha don't you know the saying?" Marlene smiled real big.

"What saying?"

*"Whiskey makes you frisky. Sure. Hit me with your best shot," she accepted your drink offer.

"Well in that case by all means." I smile at her, pouring her a whiskey heavy jack and coke in a red solo cup and passing it to her. I tap my cup against hers. "Cheers, darlin."

*Marlene took a sip. "Whooo! That's got some burn going down baby. Sooo...We are all here...so uh, where'd your friend go? Did he go and pass out somewhere?" Marlene laughed.

"Oh hes somewhere close. Probably chatting up one of your friends. Hes quite the Casanova.

*"He must be talking to one of my invisible friends. We're all here," she laughed. She finished the drink you gave her. "You two are cute." She mentioned.

"Us two?" I ask destractedly, looking over everyone's heads trying to find you. Hoping your drunken shennanigans haven't gotten you in trouble."

*"Yeah," Marlene reassured, "How long have you two known each other?"

"Thanks." I mumbled. "We've known each since elementary school."

*"That's...a long time to put up with someone," she chuckled. One of Marlene's friends came over tapping you on your shoulder, "Hey, your friend, he's passed out on the porch. Haha."

"Yeah, a lifetime too long." I joke. "He'll be fine." I tell her. "Worst case scenerio, someone draws a penis on his face." I tease.

*Marlene giggled pushing herself closer to you. "Benny, this is my friend...Sara." Marlene introduced her. You knew that name too well. Recalling all those times I was completely lost and ran to you for comfort.

Yeah, i better not introduce her to you. "Hello Sara." I smile at her. "Nice to meet you."

*I wandered my way back over to you. "BENNNJIII," I bellowed. My voice echoed through the trees surrounding my property. A couple of the girls giggled and eyeballed you. "Oh, your friend is...back I see," Marlene smiled.

"I suddenly don't know him." I say, turning my attention to the girls.

*"Hey Marlene, we're gonna head out it's getting super late," whispered one of the girls. Marlene shrugged her shoulders. "Suite yourself." I stood there whimpering like a puppy to myself. "They're a bunch of party poopers sometimes," Marlene whispered to you.

"I hope Hop's not running them off." I whisper to her. "Stay a little longer, won't you?"

*"I'm not going anywhere...Benji," Marlene smirked nudging you playfully. I wandered with the ladies, with my flashlight out, helping them get to their cars. I was still going to try to work my charm up until the bitter end.

God I hate that nickname, but I smile at her anyway and drag up a couple of chairs, pulling hers up next to mine. "Sorry things kind of fell apart."

*"Nah, I like it better this way. Less people to have to entertain," she smiled. I was singing along to the sound of one of the girl's car radios as she pulled out of the driveway. "Roxaaaannne you don't have to put on the red light," I sang, stumbling back over to the two of you.

"Sit your drunk ass down, Hop." I said, motioning towards the empty chair. I pass Marlene another beer. "I'm glad you like the smaller crowd. I do too. I'm not very good at entertaining, I'm afraid."

*"You are great at entertaining," Marlene reassured you. I sunk in my chair toking on a cigarette with a beer bottle resting on my stomach. "What did you do? Scare everyone away Marlene?" a voice chuckled. It was Chrissy's sister. "Where did you go?" Marlene asked. "Went for a walk around the lake. This place is awesome." I looked over at you with a smirk on my face. There was still hope for me yet.

"The only real asset to Jim Hopper." I tease. I lean down to retrieve a beer and pass it to Chasity. "Drag up a chair darlin." I say to her as I look at you. "Give me a cig, Hop."

*"On one condition. You cook me the greasiest breakfast on earth tomorrow. I'm gonna have one helluva hangover tomorrow," I laughed reaching over to you handing you a cigarette. "This guy can throw down on food," I bragged.

I shrug. "Sure thing." I say stealing your lighter. "So you cook?" Marlene asked. "Yeah, my Dad owns a diner."

*"Best food ever!" I piped in. "You're missing out if you haven't had it." I threw my head back resting my hat on my face. "So I feel like I've seen your friend before," Chasity whispered to you.

"Yeeeeah." This was going to be quite a thing to explain. "He and your sister dated." I said, looking to you. Dated was the nice word for it. More like fucked around with.

*"Oooooh, wait, no that's not it. Ain't he a cop?" Chasity raised an eyebrow totally blowing off what you said. I kept singing the song Roxanne to myself, muffled under my hat. Probably the worse display of drunken karaoke ever.

"Yeah, he's the Chief." I told her. Both girls look astonished.

*"You're kidding me right?" Marlene laughed. "Is it cool if we...crash here with you guys? I really don't feel like driving anywhere tonight." "YEAH! STAY HERE! Mi casa su casa!" I hollered. My attention directed at you raising an eyebrow.

"I guess I'm crashing too." I say, looking at you. "I gotta keep you girls safe from the big bad cop."

*"I heard that," I muttered punching you in the arm.


End file.
